The Cookie Rite of Passage

When I write about autism, I try to communicate the positives and potential, but I absolutely have to share about a meltdown Izaiah had today. It left me in stitches; not frustrated, but totally laughing out loud.

Crunchy, hard, big cookies

Soft, small, chewy, cookies

So, enter the culprits:  1 box Enjoy Life Crunchy cookies and 1 box Enjoy Soft Baked cookies.  *No, I don't have any affiliate links to these brands, they aren't sending me free samples. My son just really likes this expensive, allergen-free, delectable, brand of cookies. So, if you see anyone from Enjoy Life, send them to my blog!

Back to my story. Izaiah has oral motor sensory issues and cannot take bites of the Crunchy cookies as they are too hard. He also cannot put a whole one in his mouth because they are too large. I just break them into small pieces that he can easily maneuver; no problem.

His main go-to cookie is the Soft Baked kind because he can either take a bite (soft) or shove the whole thing in his mouth (small.) But the key is, he can handle them all by himself; no breaking them up first by pesky, safety-oriented, Mom.

But today, he desired the Crunchy Cookie instead and rigidly set in his mind that he would fit that whole thing in his mouth. He tried but it just wasn't going to work. Like usual, I broke the cookie into several pieces, put it on a plate and then WHAM!!!!!!!!!  Izaiah's whole world shattered! He was screaming and bawling; he melted right into the floor inconsolable with grief. 

I felt so bad for him, but it's one of those choking, safety, issues that is non-negotiable. So, I let him get it all out for about 15 minutes. Then I picked up his sobbing body, put on his compression vest and held him until the meltdown was soothed away. 

When he was smiling again, he sweetly resigned himself to eating the Soft Baked cookie.  But before he ate it, he methodically and firmly tapped it on the unconquerable Crunchy cookie. Apparently, some bizarre transfer of  legitimacy passed from the Crunchy Cookie to the second-choice Soft Cookie. Satisfied (and very serious-faced), the ritual was complete so he ate it...happily.

I burst out laughing! It was so funny!  If only I'd known!  The 'cookie rite of passage' may have helped me  avoid 30 minutes of the near heart failure I had just experienced. As I giggled, Izaiah had the most somber look on his face so I quickly and seriously tapped a Soft cookie on the Crunchy cookie too and (with new hope) offered it to him. He accepted, so I must've done it right. Oh, sigh, another day in the life....

I know our issues can be trying. Often we are lacking in sleep, overwhelmed by special needs, stressed by the lack of resources and understanding, exasperated by helplessness, tired of feeling alone, etc. It's no wonder that at times we don't feel happy. But happiness is worldly and God is not concerned that we are happy but rather that we are holy.

When we are seeking Him, we become filled with Joy. Happiness only happens to us by outside forces that appear to be positive in some way. It vaporizes quickly when something perceived as negative is encountered and then we feel sad.

God doesn't want us to be controlled by these emotions! He wants us to experience joy. Joy exudes from us no matter what is happening. We trust that the Lord will make the best out of the bad, in his own time. He promises to in Romans 8:28. While happiness depends on waiting for something good in this life, Psalm 30:5 says that the Lord restores and refreshes our joy every morning!

So many of our kids' issues are not controllable, at least at very young ages. But we can be filled with joy, instill it into our kids, and God will give us more tomorrow so we can continue the cycle. I encourage you to find the blessings in autism!